Friday, November 15, 2013


I've been reading SO MUCH criticism about early Christmas celebrators on my Facebook and Pinterest pages. The music is on, the commercials have begun, the flyers and sales and recipes are circulating. I am guilty-if it were up to me, our home would be lit with the tree and decorations from my mothers last few jolly seasons with us, our stockings would be pinned and awaiting the goodies. My front door owl would have his Santa hat on instead of turkey feathers. Oh, yes. I am ALL about the Christmas season!
I don't think 25 days is long enough for this feeling! I wait all year for the spirit of Christmas to fill every room I enter! Every kitchen and every home is buzzing with anticipation of that magical night and fantastic morning! Its a perfect prelude into a New Year. New clothes, new toys, new stuff, new you! I don't understand why everyone is so upset that Christmas is pushed into our store aisles starting in October. I mean, what exactly can you decorate for Thanksgiving, that wont be replaced with some Christmas/Santa/Winter/Holiday thing in less than a month, anyway?
My fall dish towels get a few good weeks on display, and then out come my Poinsettia towels, then Snow men, then the Christmas TREE SET! Then Halloween because my life is so disorganized, I just can't care for a while.

Thanks Flickr for my Christmas Story photo. Best scene!

You don't have to decorate to be Thankful for Thanksgiving. Shit, it doesn't need to be Thanksgiving for you to express you're grateful. Thanksgiving should be daily, but Christmas only comes once a year! AND I PLAN TO CELELBRATE AND DECORATE LIKE CRAZY!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013


I have a varied taste in music that I enjoy. I like a little bit of everything (except screamo. I just can’t get down with it.) When I need to get up and move for any reason: the gym, to clean the home when I’m just not motivated, to dance a bit while getting ready, these are some of my songs that I turn to.

THESHITICANTFIND is my playlist for
the songs I can never find because their titles
are just so, so wrong! Don't mind that!
Adam Lambert – If I Had You
Beyonce – Run The World
Ciara – That’s Right
Jennifer Lopez – On The Floor
Katy Perry – ET
Kid Cudi – Immortal
LMFAO – Shots (if I need to wake up early, I’ll set this as my alarm)
Pitbul – The Anthem
Ciara – Like A Boy
Fall Out Boy – My Sons Know What You Did in The Dark
Florence And The Machine – Dog Days Are Over
House of Pain – Jump Around
Kanye West & JayZ – Nigga’s in Paris
Ke$ha – Take it Off
Lady Gaga – Born This Way

Lady Gaga – Applause
Pussycat Dolls – When I Grow Up
Shakira – Rabiosa
System of a Down – BYOB
System of a Down – Sugar
Ying Yang Twins – Shake
Enur – Calabria
The Doors – Celebration of the Lizard King
The Transplants – Diamonds & Guns
Joan Jett – Do You Want to Touch
Fisherspooner – Emerge
Korn – Falling Away From Me
Pigeon John – Hello Everybody
DJ Class – I’m the Shit
Pussycat Dolls – Jai Ho

When I am in a mood for singing, or need inspiration, or music that will get rid of a funky mood, these are like my bibles.
Alanis Morissette – Anything from Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie, Jagged Little Pill, and Under Rug Swept.
Lorde - Roayls
Kelly Clarkson - Addicted
India Arie - Beautiful
Amel Larrieux - For Real
Florence And The Machine - Breath of Life
Thom York - Hearing Damage
Incubus - Make Yourself
India Arie - Can I Walk With You
Jem - They
Keysha Cole - I Changed My Mind

Monday, November 11, 2013


What does it take to live my life? Not much, really. Not a lot of money, or things, or complications. I am a little busy, but its nothing anybody else couldn't handle. Its manageable, my life.
It takes patience to deal with the things I deal with. From small things like the terrible twos (small thing in MY experience, she isn’t constantly terrible. I’m beyond grateful!) to Brody getting into the garbage for people food while he’s already sick, to waiting until 8:30 to be allowed to do something for myself like homework or go to the gym.
Speed that a plus size mama with bad knees should have, for those fun shopping trips with an antsy, curious runner.
Reflexes like a cat, to be able to catch a clumsy, over tired child before she falls, or be able to scoop her up, get her onto the counter, and feed her some ice cream in less than 5 seconds when she does fall.
Organizational awareness, to keep the clutter (mostly) at bay.
Few self needs, because money isn’t exactly falling from the sky around here! I get very little for myself, even when I need something I will put it off as long as possible.
A sense of humor is key, because laughter is what gets me through what sleep cannot. Without laughing, I’d be crying, and I am not a pretty crier!
The ability to nap during the day is super important to me, because that is where I get most of my consistent, from 12-2!
Honesty is super important because even if I did decide to start lying, I would be horrible at it because I have such a bad memory. I can’t remember the things I do, never mind keeping up with a story of things I didn’t do. That’s too much work, and I’m busy enough.
I don’t have a crazy work ethic, but I have an insatiable need to provide for my daughter. I would rather struggle with managing my time by squeezing in two jobs, than struggle to pay my bills or take her places, or buy her Christmas presents. My pride as a mother is strengthened because I am willing to accept the work, whatever it may be, to better her life.

I like to think the biggest necessity in my life is strength to keep going. Persistence. Perseverance. My life is not exactly perfect, how I planned it to be, or ideal for some. I have some shit I go through in my personal, you will never know this unless you are severely close to me, life. I think the main reason why I am where I am is because I haven’t laid down and become a victim of my circumstance, I keep pushing through because that’s how my mother raised me. There is nothing handed to me in this life that I cannot handle. I handle it- that’s all there is to it. I handle everything head on, and plow through it.

Friday, November 8, 2013


Oh my gooooood I am over winter already and it hasn’t even officially begun! Every single year I forget how sweltering the summer is, and how subarctic the winter feels. I wish for it to be winter as I’m baking on the pavement, and wish for the summer when I’m slipping on it. I cannot be pleased!
There is much that I enjoy about every season, though.
In the summer I love the ease of not having to layer up simply to let the dog out.
In the winter I love the quite nights with closed windows and seeking the warmth of blankets and oversized sweaters.
I enjoy the leaves changing color, and the crispy sound they make on the ground in fall.
I love the sound and smell of rain and grass being mowed, and birds coming back to chirp in spring.
While winter may not be my favorite weather- I wouldn’t like to live where winter doesn’t exist. I love watching heavy snow fall- there’s nothing quite like it! I love feeling the cold glass of the window as I look at the snow collect, while warm in my home. I loved watching the child’s first clumsy climb into a pile of snow, and how she didn’t feel the cold when she clasped a fistful in her tiny chubby fist. This year, I can’t wait to take her sledding down a hill and teach her how to make snowballs.
Winter also brings me CHRISTMAS which is my favorite time of all! I’m unapologetically stating that Christmas is more exciting than the kid’s birthdays. Yes. Because Santa comes, and there are decorations and spirit and family and food- OH THE FOOD!! and cookies and home made candies and hot chocolate with marshmallows or whipped cream and traditions and that (awful) traditional Christmas music! I am entirely too excited, and it’s a month and a half away! I am that woman that wants her Christmas decorations and tree up before Thanksgiving!
What would Christmas be without the cold? It wouldn’t be the same for me.
OH THE FOOD! My favorite winter food is hot ham. Spiral, honey glazed, or pineapple glazed that my father in law makes, I LOVE a good ham! The only time of year anyone in my family ever makes it is Thanksgiving and Christmas-which is pretty unacceptable now that I think about it. My mother made this Pumpernickel cheese ball, where you dip the shredded bread- oh it was delicious. I'll be making that this year-well trying to make it I should say!

Thursday, November 7, 2013


If I had one wish that would be used to change the world, I would wish for: equality.

Complete and total equality amongst humans.
I don't believe there should be people with their own set of rules and laws that the rest of us will never benefit from. I don't believe that the rich should have more opportunities than the working class. I don't believe your gender, race, religion, or sexual orientation should ever be a factor. I think we should all have the same amount of chances, opportunities, and benefits. In order for this wish to work, it would have to balance out the population to have an even scale of work ethic. I do believe if you want something, you must work for it. I believe in hard work bringing you more opportunities than luck ever will. Mainly I want equality so that we don't have to fight anymore. How long can we fight a fight that shouldn't even be warred? How can you tell people they are not allowed to love?
How can you discriminate because of a color, accent, or ethnicity? How can you hate someone for believing in something different- something neither of you have proof exists- but something you have faith in. The pictures quote from the Macklemore song Same Love hit me hard with this one line. I have never been one to dispute anyone's beliefs. I don't even know what I believe in sometimes; my faith is constantly challenged and I admire those who are unfaltering in their  devotion. I don't think any good person should be less deserving of their basic human rights. I want us all to be equals. No more poverty, no more GAY rights, no more categorizing ourselves. We are people. We have one set of rights-and we ALL live within them. No more starvation. No more unequal healthcare. We'd all be just equals.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013


The days my daughter puts her face on mine, and just holds me tight with her chubby, perfect arms; that lights up my life. When she comes over to me and gives me a kiss, and then carries on with her business-that little break she takes to show me she loves me-that is my happiness. When she sees a mark on my body that isn’t regular, like a beauty mark or a freckle and points, asking “boo boo?” in a concerned tone, that caring soul makes me melt. When she grabs my hand to pull me to whatever she wants to show me, experience with me- that act of “join me on this journey to the other room, mommy. I want you with me.” is heartwarming. She gives me a happiness I never knew was possible. She allows me to open my mind and experience a peace, a chaos, a perspective I’ve never needed to have before. She causes me to worry every second I am alive. She forces me to have patience and to think in a better way. She teaches me to think twice about everything, because when the questions come, I want to be able to answer her with openness, honesty, and completely without any judgments. I want to be a better person, a better woman because of her. She motivates me and inspires me. She loves me for exactly who and what I am, and she in her entirety lights up my everything.

Monday, November 4, 2013


Join in the Autumn Spiced Blog Challenge!

I am grateful for all around health; My daughters, nieces and nephews, siblings, family, and friends. I am thankful for what health we do have that keeps us going. I am grateful for the love expressed to my daughter and in turn, to myself. I am grateful for my life and all of my belongings. Belongings are nothing to compare to the souls I surround myself with, however many people aren't fortunate enough to own objects. I am grateful for my skills and abilities, for my working senses and functioning limbs and brain. I am grateful for a healthy child. I am grateful to have the thoughts I create and the ability to better myself daily. I am grateful for life- for each day- every moment. I am grateful for my opportunities and evolvement. I am grateful for my soul and to the parents that created my body for my soul to have a place to inhabit. I am grateful I created a body for my daughters soul. I am grateful for her soul, beyond all other things I have ever been grateful for, because she is an incredible, sweet, charismatic, beautiful, generous, funny, energetic, silly soul who makes me happy without even trying. I am grateful for my reasons to exist, and for existing.
I am plain, grateful.
On a sillier note, I am grateful that Daryl is still alive on The Walking Dead, cookies and ice cream, really fantastic food, and chapstick!


Would you believe that at my unspecified age, I have never carved a pumpkin before? Well, believe it. Tonight-yes November 4th, don't judge me-I carved my first pumpkin! Before Halloween, I wanted to carve Loki, but I couldn't print the stencil because my printer abhors me. I wanted to carve something that wouldn't look too ridiculous sitting outside well into November, so tonight I freehanded the only bird I like- and the becoming-theme of my kitchen- an owl.

He was cute, but too big. I had to scale him down, and then figure out which parts I wanted to cut out complete, shave, and leave. This is SO much harder than I thought it would be because you have to cut to make the shapes and give your pumpkin an identifiable form, BUT you have to leave parts in tact for structure! It took me almost 2.5 hours from start to finish. 15 minutes of that was Matt trying to convince me to put my hand inside that disgusting, stringy, seedy hole and rip the guts out. Oh, that was ICKY! But, I did it, and in true OCD style, I re-drew my plan over and over, and over again on the skin with a dry erase marker. It comes right off so it worked perfectly!
After I was completely done carving scooping sawing drawing poking scraping shaping this beauty, I put some bleach and water in the sink, dunked the pumpkin inside and out with the mixture, let it dries, slathered some Vaseline on that bad boy, and put it outside.
I am SO proud of myself! My first pumpkin came out pretty damn good if I say so myself. There! I said so myself!

whooo! whoooo!

Preserved and nocturnal, between the child's plastic fall pumpkins.
Here are the others. Matt's Thunderbirds logo, and the child's felt, painted, and pierced creatures.
While it may be a bit late in the game, I've just put my November pumpkin out! What did you carve this year? Do you freehand or use stencils? Let me know with a comment down below!
Thanks for stopping by to my first Make-it Monday!

Sunday, November 3, 2013


It has been mentioned here on my blog that I lost my mother in 2010 very unexpectedly. If you were not aware, you now are. The article of clothing I am very attached to, that is the center of my 15 Day Blog Challenge, is a blue sweater of hers.

Can't you just feel the oversized mommy comfort this brings me? yesssssssss.

She wore this sweater almost every day of her life. It was soft, warm, comfortable, and had pockets for her cigarettes- hello, bonus! It has big buttons that close in the front so it could be thrown on and off quickly, worn closed or opened. It was an object that brought her warmth and comfort.

It is now an article that brings me warmth, comfort, and the representation of a hug from her. Not that we hugged a lot-ohh nooo-my mother was vehemently disgusted by physical affection. We are not a touchy feely people! But it was her sweater, and now I swear it, and therefore it is a hug, dammit!

This is my favorite article of clothing next to my Hogwarts tshirt. I don’t get attach to clothes (tell that to the three bags of pre-partum clothing still waiting for me in the closet that I cant donate!) but this is the one object I’d like to remember when the zombies rise.

Do you have a sentimental article of clothing? Socks your grandma knit, or a shirt of your best friend who moved too far to visit? Comment below and tell me about it so I know I’m not the only one!

Saturday, November 2, 2013


I wish I were more interesting.
Sometimes, I converse with myself-intensely.
I am actually counting each word.
VERY excited to start freelancing work!
Entirely too exhausted to complete this.

Revisit DAY ONE for the blog challenge, join in, and let me know so I can read your posts!

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