Wednesday, September 3, 2014


Let’s just get into it, because I've been away for far too long and I am in the mood to blog it to you, baby!
I need to discuss something fun and new in my life: Ipsy!

Ipsy is a subscription beauty bag--doesn't that sound enticing on its own? For $10 a month  you get 4-5 trial-to-full sized products in an adorable themed bag that is selected based off of your results for the subscription quiz.

I subscribed and went through the little channels to get off of the waiting list immediately because I wanted new makeup for our trip to Louisiana. I honestly didn't expect my bag to arrive before we left for our trip, but it came two nights before! Matt comes inside and says “There’s a giant pink package in our mailbox” and I squealed with delight!

I’m going to be straight-up with you. I was a bit disappointed in my bag at first. I wasn't crazy about the circular bag, the tiny trial sizes, or the theme.

…..Then I used the products!

Here is the quickie.
So the bag is adorable, isn't it!? I love polka dots and the pencil case style is adorable. It surprisingly holds more make up than any of my other little bags, so I love it even more now. Its sturdy, and similar styles cost $20 at Sephora!

Absolute  |  You’re The BALM  |  Green Apple  |  $2.99 on
Image by

I went for this first because I am a huge chap stick/lip balm fan. I am not a fan of this, but it isn’t a bad product. I don’t enjoy the taste of it- if it were flavored I would wear this all the time! The Queen loves it and asks to put it on constantly, so it’s a win in her book. You can buy these as a 2 pack of different smells (Watermelon & Grape, or Strawberry & Bubblegum) for $5.99. (note, that is not my picture of the lipbalm)

Lord & Berry  |  Black Silk Kajal Kohl Liner  |  #1001  |  $15 on  |  $7.50 worth of product

I’ve only tried this once because I rarely wear eye liner. I haven’t found an inexpensive one that doesn’t smudge and run the entire time it’s on my face. This was no different, unfortunately. I will try it out a few more times but it doesn’t look too hopeful! I don’t know why they gave me this. IPSY, LEARN YOUR CLIENTS!!

Coastal Scents  |  Forever Blush Duo  |  Fresh / Elegant  |  $7.95 each on |  $3.98 worth of product

LOVE IT! Somewhere on Ipsy’s facebook page I saw a tip to put Elegant in the hollows of your cheekbone like a contour, and Fresh above that on the cheekbone itself for a glow. I LOVE the way it looks on my skin. It had a gorgeous pigment payoff and lasts a decent amount of time.

Urban Decay  |  Perversion Mascara  |  Black  |  $22 on  |  $5.50 worth of product

I wasn’t excited about this until my friend told me with was the seckz-and homegirl doesn’t lie when it comes to her lashes—so I tried it and WOW WOW WOW. I don’t spend a lot of money on make up- but this I will be going out to purchase for myself very soon. It lasts forever, flakes a tiny bit at the end of the work day, and separates and lengthens my lashes beautifully.

Dr. Brandt  |  Pores No More Refiner Primer  |  $45 on  |  $11.25 worth of product

I’ve tried monostat chafing gel as a primer, and Baby Skin pore blur, and they both weren’t a good match for my oily, large pored skin. This makes a noticeable difference in my pores and my makeup application. It smells a bit medicated-like Noxzema-and is tinted so it blends into my skin.

Overall, I am pleased with my products but not their sizes. The only full size product in my bag was the lip balm I didn't care for.

What has been your favorite Ipsy bag product, and your least favorite? What other INEXPENSIVE subscription bags would you recommend?

Thursday, April 3, 2014


I'm going to need you all to stop circulating this now, okay?
I am not saying Beth isn't in a cargo crate at Terminus, yelling her southern little songbird lungs out... But that's not her sweater cannibal Mary is sporting.
Thank you.


Sunday, March 23, 2014


I hate the feeling of having to justify decisions we make for our daughter. The look on almost everyone's face when it's mentioned that we are highly considering homeschooling her, is astounding. This is something that has been a constant discussion, a highly researched decision we are trying to make for her, not a decision we are making on a whim.
"Kids need socialization." That's the first thing everyone who feels a need to chime in on what we do for our daughter throws out at us. I threw it out too, when my best friend home-schooled her how 2+ grade advanced son. Before I thought I'd be a parent considering homeschooling. Being cramped in a room with 32 similarly minded/developed children and one adult is not my idea or desire for socializing. Being surrounded by different maturity and intelligence levels is what we consider socializing, and how we naturally learn. Experience, not memorization. School is preparing you for the real world- where everyone is exactly the same? It breaks a child's natural desire to learn, and instead they compete for stars, candy, bribes, and above all else to be seen as the best in the class. Don't get me started on the bully epidemic, the rising media coverage concerning sexual assault on children, statutory meetings with older students (who are still minors) and my favorite scare: my 7th grade music teacher trafficking child pornography. Who better than to teach, nurture, love, and protect my child than me? No one, that's who.
If you'd like some statistics regarding current homeschooling vs. public schooling in America, I'll provide them. For now, I'll just stick with this gem I found on Pinterest. It takes a village, and I love my reliable, loving village that helps us raise Nora with love, acceptance, and humor. I thank you for accepting her sensitivity and her soul made of glitter with a never-ending supply of applause and laughs when she wants an audience.  Its the village I don't know that scares me, us, and we don't need our parental decisions questioned or debated.

Monday, January 13, 2014


I have been meaning to write a product rave for quite a while now, but I just haven't gotten around made the time to do it. Bad Annie, BAD. Well here is a big list of my favorite products of 2013. Nails, face, skin, and hair are covered in this post. What? You think I forgot about make up?1 Pshaw to you, darlin'. I needed a list exclusively for my favorite make-up products, but that is for another day! I am super excited to share it all with you! Onward!

How does it work? Open the cap, squeeze the gel onto your cuticle surrounding your entire nail, wait,  & scrape. FOUR easy steps to have better-than-professional grade cuticles. No cutting, no painful metal push- tools, and no rotary files removing the cuticle (and the top layers of your nail!).

How broke will I go? Roughly $4 and change and it lasts a very long time.

Downside: It doesn't work as fast as the directions say. I have to leave it on for about a minute before it works, instead of the suggested 30 seconds. 

How do they work? Open, apply to nail, close. These bad girls do their jobs, and do them well. I use the hardener as a base and top coat most of the time because my nails are super weak. I dab the Quick Dry on each layer so the dry time is lessened drastically and this is important to me! When do I have time to sit around and wait for 3-4 layers to dry? HAH!
How broke will I go? $3.99! I've paid upwards of $8 for a nail hardener that does the same thing. No, I will not be going back, thank you!
Downsides: The Quick Dry is watery/powdery. I cant explain the texture. it works, but it's thin and gets all over my cuticle. The Hardener has a slight color pick up if you dont want long enough to apply it to a colored polish. Wait a bit longer (I can't do that) and you'd be fine.

How does it work? Open, apply thick layer to desired area, spot test, remove completely, apply moisturizing cream. Lets be realistic, the older we get the more these rogue hairs pop up, it's a sad truth. Plucking, waxing, and epilating hair will make it come back brand new, appearing thicker and darker. Using a cream removal method acts like an acid to melt away the exposed hair, leaving the root in tact, and allowing it to regrow exactly the same: no thicker, no darker. I've experienced some redness around the areas immediately afterward, but its gone after the moisturizer soaks in and my skin rests a bit. No breakouts or rashes, though.
How broke will I go? $5 and change. A little goes a long way. I use this under my eye brows to get rid of the thin hair that my tweezers don't pick up. Smooth eye makeup, yes please!
Downsides: This shit stinks. Seriously, it smells exactly like Nair, and I am super sensitive to smells. So this being on my face turns my stomach. It works fast though, so it's a minor price to pay for an overall great product.

How does it work? Open/pump, apply to dry skin areas. I use this everywhere except my neck and face (see 6) and I only need to reapply if I've washed my hands. One application lasts me until my next shower, and I've had quite a few compliments on how soft my skin is. I've been using this for more than 6 years and I do not plan on stopping any time soon.
How broke will I go? $6 and change at Target or Shoprite for the biggest bottle. Walgreens usually carries the smaller bottle with 30% more for about $5 and change.
Downsides: The pump straw doesn't reach the bottom and I have to beat the hell out of the bottle to get the last 3/4 of an inch out, and the squeeze bottle top doesn't fit the pump bottle. Hashtag first world problems?

How does it work? Open, apply liberally to face and neck. Fresh out of my shower I apply this to a dry or damp face and neck. The end. It smells clean, doesn't need reapplication, and doesn't break the bank. I cannot say if it does anything for wrinkles of tightening the skin because I've lucked out in both departments (I'm aging well, being 28 and all...).
How broke will I go? $4 and change at ShopRite.
Downsides: I do not like the packaging, at all.  I don't like dipping my fingers into the tub of lotion. I'd like a pump or squeeze bottle, because it's more sanitary.

7. Sally's Generic Value Product Conditioning Balm - Compare to Matrix Biolage Conditioning Balm
How does it work? Beautifully! Ha! Pour into hand, apply to shampooed hair, wait desired amount of time, rinse. It smells and works exactly like the original, at less than half the price. It leaves my hair smooth and shiny. A little goes a long way and this bottle has out-lasted 3 of the same size shampoos- and there is still plenty more remaining!
How broke will I go? $6 and change, depending if you're a Sally's card holder or not. It will cost you $5 to become a card holder for 1 year and you get the alternate pricing on products.
Downsides: The packaging flakes away after a while. It's a minor inconvenience to rinse away the little black specks that rub off. They eliminate the cost of fancy packaging to deliver an affordable product, so I'll take that arrangement everyday!

8. Sally's Generic Value Product Tea Tree Oil Shampoo - Compare to Paul Mitchell Tea Tree Special Shampoo
How does it work? Apply to wet hair, lather, rinse. Repeat if desired. This helped to clean my hair of impurities and build up without stripping it of natural oils. My favorite part about this shampoo is not what it does to my hair and scalp, but what it does to my lungs! The hot shower steam with the tea tree oil gives off a soothing vapor while you shampoo and rinse. (Sometimes, Matt uses it just for the vapors!)
How broke will I go? $6 and change, depending on your Sally's card status.
Downsides: I go through a bottle fast. I mean, 2-3 weeks fast. It's a thick shampoo so I need a bit extra to get it all over my long locks.

How does it work? Spray into towel dried/damp hair. Would you like me to repeat that? Simple, right? I use this on my ends because I haven't had a hair cut in 2 years and 7 months, therefore my ends needs some help keeping their shit in order. This lasts FOREVER. I've been using this product since 2005 and I've only been through 3 bottles. If you abide by product expiration dates (and I don't know of a single person that does) then you might be disposing of half-full bottles and starting over. That's crazy talk to me.
How broke will I go? $6 and change. I buy this at Sally's so again, prices vary if you're a 5 dolla' VIP with a Sally's card.
Downsides: If you go overboard, you will feel the build up. You learn how much you need, and then use that amount. Some days I go crazy because I love the smell and I'll spritz it all over my hair and when it dries, my hair looks worse than when I washed it. So, moderation. This shiz works!

How does it work? Squeeze, apply, wait 3+ minutes, rinse. I have no complaints about this product, let me just tell you that now. I love the smell. I love the texture. I love the result of my hair. I love that a little goes a long way and the bottle lasts me forever. I love the packaging. No flip screw pump tops, pick it up and squeeze it into your hand. THUMBS UP FOR EASE! I love that it costs:
How broke will I go? $3 effin dollars and change. DASSIT! (Target)
Downsides: None. Seriously.

What made your 2013 favorites list? Have you tried any of these products and have a similar/opposite feeling about them? Comment below and let me know!

The Clueless Woman was not reimbursed or compensated to provide opinion on the above products. If you would like your product reviewed please email or visit the contact page. The views expressed on this blog are purely that of the blogs author. I Have No Idea What I'm Doing will only endorse products or services that we believe are worthy of such endorsement. This blog does not accept any form of cash advertising, sponsorship, or paid topic insertions. However, we will accept and keep free products, services, travel, event tickets, and other forms of compensation from companies and organizations. Those products, services, advertising space, post, or sponsored compensation will be clearly identified as paid or sponsored content. This blog abides by word of mouth marketing standards. We believe in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity.
Basically, no one will pay me to sell you on something, if I don't love it myself.


Friday, November 15, 2013


I've been reading SO MUCH criticism about early Christmas celebrators on my Facebook and Pinterest pages. The music is on, the commercials have begun, the flyers and sales and recipes are circulating. I am guilty-if it were up to me, our home would be lit with the tree and decorations from my mothers last few jolly seasons with us, our stockings would be pinned and awaiting the goodies. My front door owl would have his Santa hat on instead of turkey feathers. Oh, yes. I am ALL about the Christmas season!
I don't think 25 days is long enough for this feeling! I wait all year for the spirit of Christmas to fill every room I enter! Every kitchen and every home is buzzing with anticipation of that magical night and fantastic morning! Its a perfect prelude into a New Year. New clothes, new toys, new stuff, new you! I don't understand why everyone is so upset that Christmas is pushed into our store aisles starting in October. I mean, what exactly can you decorate for Thanksgiving, that wont be replaced with some Christmas/Santa/Winter/Holiday thing in less than a month, anyway?
My fall dish towels get a few good weeks on display, and then out come my Poinsettia towels, then Snow men, then the Christmas TREE SET! Then Halloween because my life is so disorganized, I just can't care for a while.

Thanks Flickr for my Christmas Story photo. Best scene!

You don't have to decorate to be Thankful for Thanksgiving. Shit, it doesn't need to be Thanksgiving for you to express you're grateful. Thanksgiving should be daily, but Christmas only comes once a year! AND I PLAN TO CELELBRATE AND DECORATE LIKE CRAZY!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013


I have a varied taste in music that I enjoy. I like a little bit of everything (except screamo. I just can’t get down with it.) When I need to get up and move for any reason: the gym, to clean the home when I’m just not motivated, to dance a bit while getting ready, these are some of my songs that I turn to.

THESHITICANTFIND is my playlist for
the songs I can never find because their titles
are just so, so wrong! Don't mind that!
Adam Lambert – If I Had You
Beyonce – Run The World
Ciara – That’s Right
Jennifer Lopez – On The Floor
Katy Perry – ET
Kid Cudi – Immortal
LMFAO – Shots (if I need to wake up early, I’ll set this as my alarm)
Pitbul – The Anthem
Ciara – Like A Boy
Fall Out Boy – My Sons Know What You Did in The Dark
Florence And The Machine – Dog Days Are Over
House of Pain – Jump Around
Kanye West & JayZ – Nigga’s in Paris
Ke$ha – Take it Off
Lady Gaga – Born This Way

Lady Gaga – Applause
Pussycat Dolls – When I Grow Up
Shakira – Rabiosa
System of a Down – BYOB
System of a Down – Sugar
Ying Yang Twins – Shake
Enur – Calabria
The Doors – Celebration of the Lizard King
The Transplants – Diamonds & Guns
Joan Jett – Do You Want to Touch
Fisherspooner – Emerge
Korn – Falling Away From Me
Pigeon John – Hello Everybody
DJ Class – I’m the Shit
Pussycat Dolls – Jai Ho

When I am in a mood for singing, or need inspiration, or music that will get rid of a funky mood, these are like my bibles.
Alanis Morissette – Anything from Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie, Jagged Little Pill, and Under Rug Swept.
Lorde - Roayls
Kelly Clarkson - Addicted
India Arie - Beautiful
Amel Larrieux - For Real
Florence And The Machine - Breath of Life
Thom York - Hearing Damage
Incubus - Make Yourself
India Arie - Can I Walk With You
Jem - They
Keysha Cole - I Changed My Mind

Monday, November 11, 2013


What does it take to live my life? Not much, really. Not a lot of money, or things, or complications. I am a little busy, but its nothing anybody else couldn't handle. Its manageable, my life.
It takes patience to deal with the things I deal with. From small things like the terrible twos (small thing in MY experience, she isn’t constantly terrible. I’m beyond grateful!) to Brody getting into the garbage for people food while he’s already sick, to waiting until 8:30 to be allowed to do something for myself like homework or go to the gym.
Speed that a plus size mama with bad knees should have, for those fun shopping trips with an antsy, curious runner.
Reflexes like a cat, to be able to catch a clumsy, over tired child before she falls, or be able to scoop her up, get her onto the counter, and feed her some ice cream in less than 5 seconds when she does fall.
Organizational awareness, to keep the clutter (mostly) at bay.
Few self needs, because money isn’t exactly falling from the sky around here! I get very little for myself, even when I need something I will put it off as long as possible.
A sense of humor is key, because laughter is what gets me through what sleep cannot. Without laughing, I’d be crying, and I am not a pretty crier!
The ability to nap during the day is super important to me, because that is where I get most of my consistent, from 12-2!
Honesty is super important because even if I did decide to start lying, I would be horrible at it because I have such a bad memory. I can’t remember the things I do, never mind keeping up with a story of things I didn’t do. That’s too much work, and I’m busy enough.
I don’t have a crazy work ethic, but I have an insatiable need to provide for my daughter. I would rather struggle with managing my time by squeezing in two jobs, than struggle to pay my bills or take her places, or buy her Christmas presents. My pride as a mother is strengthened because I am willing to accept the work, whatever it may be, to better her life.

I like to think the biggest necessity in my life is strength to keep going. Persistence. Perseverance. My life is not exactly perfect, how I planned it to be, or ideal for some. I have some shit I go through in my personal, you will never know this unless you are severely close to me, life. I think the main reason why I am where I am is because I haven’t laid down and become a victim of my circumstance, I keep pushing through because that’s how my mother raised me. There is nothing handed to me in this life that I cannot handle. I handle it- that’s all there is to it. I handle everything head on, and plow through it.

Friday, November 8, 2013


Oh my gooooood I am over winter already and it hasn’t even officially begun! Every single year I forget how sweltering the summer is, and how subarctic the winter feels. I wish for it to be winter as I’m baking on the pavement, and wish for the summer when I’m slipping on it. I cannot be pleased!
There is much that I enjoy about every season, though.
In the summer I love the ease of not having to layer up simply to let the dog out.
In the winter I love the quite nights with closed windows and seeking the warmth of blankets and oversized sweaters.
I enjoy the leaves changing color, and the crispy sound they make on the ground in fall.
I love the sound and smell of rain and grass being mowed, and birds coming back to chirp in spring.
While winter may not be my favorite weather- I wouldn’t like to live where winter doesn’t exist. I love watching heavy snow fall- there’s nothing quite like it! I love feeling the cold glass of the window as I look at the snow collect, while warm in my home. I loved watching the child’s first clumsy climb into a pile of snow, and how she didn’t feel the cold when she clasped a fistful in her tiny chubby fist. This year, I can’t wait to take her sledding down a hill and teach her how to make snowballs.
Winter also brings me CHRISTMAS which is my favorite time of all! I’m unapologetically stating that Christmas is more exciting than the kid’s birthdays. Yes. Because Santa comes, and there are decorations and spirit and family and food- OH THE FOOD!! and cookies and home made candies and hot chocolate with marshmallows or whipped cream and traditions and that (awful) traditional Christmas music! I am entirely too excited, and it’s a month and a half away! I am that woman that wants her Christmas decorations and tree up before Thanksgiving!
What would Christmas be without the cold? It wouldn’t be the same for me.
OH THE FOOD! My favorite winter food is hot ham. Spiral, honey glazed, or pineapple glazed that my father in law makes, I LOVE a good ham! The only time of year anyone in my family ever makes it is Thanksgiving and Christmas-which is pretty unacceptable now that I think about it. My mother made this Pumpernickel cheese ball, where you dip the shredded bread- oh it was delicious. I'll be making that this year-well trying to make it I should say!
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