NECESSARY THINGS TO LIVE MY LIFE

What does it take to live my life? Not much, really. Not a lot of money, or things, or complications. I am a little busy, but its nothing anybody else couldn't handle. Its manageable, my life.
It takes patience to deal with the things I deal with. From small things like the terrible twos (small thing in MY experience, she isn’t constantly terrible. I’m beyond grateful!) to Brody getting into the garbage for people food while he’s already sick, to waiting until 8:30 to be allowed to do something for myself like homework or go to the gym.
Speed that a plus size mama with bad knees should have, for those fun shopping trips with an antsy, curious runner.
Reflexes like a cat, to be able to catch a clumsy, over tired child before she falls, or be able to scoop her up, get her onto the counter, and feed her some ice cream in less than 5 seconds when she does fall.
Organizational awareness, to keep the clutter (mostly) at bay.
Few self needs, because money isn’t exactly falling from the sky around here! I get very little for myself, even when I need something I will put it off as long as possible.
A sense of humor is key, because laughter is what gets me through what sleep cannot. Without laughing, I’d be crying, and I am not a pretty crier!
The ability to nap during the day is super important to me, because that is where I get most of my consistent, from 12-2!
Honesty is super important because even if I did decide to start lying, I would be horrible at it because I have such a bad memory. I can’t remember the things I do, never mind keeping up with a story of things I didn’t do. That’s too much work, and I’m busy enough.
I don’t have a crazy work ethic, but I have an insatiable need to provide for my daughter. I would rather struggle with managing my time by squeezing in two jobs, than struggle to pay my bills or take her places, or buy her Christmas presents. My pride as a mother is strengthened because I am willing to accept the work, whatever it may be, to better her life.

I like to think the biggest necessity in my life is strength to keep going. Persistence. Perseverance. My life is not exactly perfect, how I planned it to be, or ideal for some. I have some shit I go through in my personal, you will never know this unless you are severely close to me, life. I think the main reason why I am where I am is because I haven’t laid down and become a victim of my circumstance, I keep pushing through because that’s how my mother raised me. There is nothing handed to me in this life that I cannot handle. I handle it- that’s all there is to it. I handle everything head on, and plow through it.

HOW AM I DIGGING WINTERTIME?

Oh my gooooood I am over winter already and it hasn’t even officially begun! Every single year I forget how sweltering the summer is, and how subarctic the winter feels. I wish for it to be winter as I’m baking on the pavement, and wish for the summer when I’m slipping on it. I cannot be pleased!

There is much that I enjoy about every season, though.

In the summer I love the ease of not having to layer up simply to let the dog out.

In the winter I love the quite nights with closed windows and seeking the warmth of blankets and oversized sweaters.

I enjoy the leaves changing color, and the crispy sound they make on the ground in fall.

I love the sound and smell of rain and grass being mowed, and birds coming back to chirp in spring.

While winter may not be my favorite weather- I wouldn’t like to live where winter doesn’t exist. I love watching heavy snow fall- there’s nothing quite like it! I love feeling the cold glass of the window as I look at the snow collect, while warm in my home. I loved watching the child’s first clumsy climb into a pile of snow, and how she didn’t feel the cold when she clasped a fistful in her tiny chubby fist. This year, I can’t wait to take her sledding down a hill and teach her how to make snowballs.

Winter also brings me CHRISTMAS which is my favorite time of all! I’m unapologetically stating that Christmas is more exciting than the kid’s birthdays. Yes. Because Santa comes, and there are decorations and spirit and family and food- OH THE FOOD!! and cookies and home made candies and hot chocolate with marshmallows or whipped cream and traditions and that (awful) traditional Christmas music! I am entirely too excited, and it’s a month and a half away! I am that woman that wants her Christmas decorations and tree up before Thanksgiving!

What would Christmas be without the cold? It wouldn’t be the same for me.

OH THE FOOD! My favorite winter food is hot ham. Spiral, honey glazed, or pineapple glazed that my father in law makes, I LOVE a good ham! The only time of year anyone in my family ever makes it is Thanksgiving and Christmas-which is pretty unacceptable now that I think about it. My mother made this Pumpernickel cheese ball, where you dip the shredded bread- oh it was delicious. I'll be making that this year-well trying to make it I should say!

DAY THREE.

It has been mentioned here on my blog that I lost my mother in 2010 very unexpectedly. If you were not aware, you now are. The article of clothing I am very attached to, that is the center of my 15 Day Blog Challenge, is a blue sweater of hers.

Can't you just feel the oversized mommy comfort this brings me? yesssssssss.

She wore this sweater almost every day of her life. It was soft, warm, comfortable, and had pockets for her cigarettes- hello, bonus! It has big buttons that close in the front so it could be thrown on and off quickly, worn closed or opened. It was an object that brought her warmth and comfort.

It is now an article that brings me warmth, comfort, and the representation of a hug from her. Not that we hugged a lot-ohh nooo-my mother was vehemently disgusted by physical affection. We are not a touchy feely people! But it was her sweater, and now I swear it, and therefore it is a hug, dammit!

This is my favorite article of clothing next to my Hogwarts tshirt. I don’t get attach to clothes (tell that to the three bags of pre-partum clothing still waiting for me in the closet that I cant donate!) but this is the one object I’d like to remember when the zombies rise.

Do you have a sentimental article of clothing? Socks your grandma knit, or a shirt of your best friend who moved too far to visit? Comment below and tell me about it so I know I’m not the only one!

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

What exactly can I offer you?
I can offer you an identity.
Nothing illegal! What I mean is, I can help you build your business identity. I can help you draw in the crowd, bring in the money, and keep them coming back for more. I am your graphic designer, and I am here to help you create your brand.

What is it that I do?
I create! I create the sign above your door that people can see driving down the road. I create the watermark for your photographs to keep them yours and to gain you exposure (see what I did there!). I create the menu for your small business, the business card you will hand out whenever the opportunity presents itself, and I create the design that will be your money-maker. I create the graphics you will post on your blog, website, and social media accounts.

Thank you www.asenathhorton.com

THE BEGINNING: DAY ONE

[1]

Family above all else. My siblings are the most helpful, selfless, generous people I share this life with and I’m very blessed to have them. They help each other (and me) in anyway they are capable. I love my siblings immensely and thank my stars that we were raised the way we were.

[2]

I lost my mother at 25. I guess 25 years is better than nothing, right? But with my mother, no amount of time would have been enough. She was just a classy, funny-as-hell broad that you loved to be around. I miss her excruciating amounts.

[3]

I cried when I found out the child was a girl. Four months after losing my mother, we found out the gender of “nugget” and I said “It’s still early, though. She could still grow a penis!” It wasn’t until I was driving home, missing my mother, and thinking about the incredible relationship we had as mother and daughter, that I realized I was beyond ecstatic to have a girl. I didn’t realize I wanted a daughter so bad until it was confirmed that I was building one. So when people tell me to wait for those teenage years when she hates me and I’m wrong about everything- suck it. My mother was my best friend no matter what age I was, and I have complete confidence that while we will fight, the child will feel the same towards me.

[4]

I have no self discipline. I do what I want, when I want to do it, and that is why I am still not back to my pre-partum weight. I don’t bargain with or restrict myself from the things that I want and enjoy because life is short.

[5]

I want to own a home more than I want to be back into my pre-baby clothing. I want to be a home owner and enjoy the struggles and hassles and the yard! Oh, the yard!

[6]

I loathe ketchup. Get that nasty away from me!

[7]

I unapologetically love TV, movies, and fiction books. I love getting away for a while in the comfort of my home, wrapping myself in their story and being enveloped. I can’t afford to travel so why not?

[8]

My mom called me Poopy my entire life. I believe it came from my unyielding love for Winnie the Pooh. I used to cry when it (and Gumby) was over and the credits rolled.

[9]

I love to clean late at night. (Another reason I want my own home instead of an apartment!) If I could clean at night without disturbing anyone, my apartment would always be perfectly organized and gleaming.

[10]

I can spend 12 hours on my computer without a 2^nd thought. I haven’t in a very, very long time, but I could.

[11]

I am not a morning person. I do not enjoy coffee. I will have a morning conversation with you and not remember a single word of it. It is best to leave me alone until after 12pm, just to be safe.

[12]

I am terrified of birds. However, I love owls. They are a special little fowl that I enjoy and would probably even pet. All other birds should just go away, though.

[13]

I am also terrified of spiders, thousand-leggers, and any bug that jumps. Screw it, bugs. I’m just scared of bugs. I also wouldn’t want to come face to face with bears or sharks, because I’d pee all over.

[14]

I gnaw my nails off when I am stressed while reading, and I won’t realize I’ve done it until I’m finished and in pain.

[15]

I take 600+ pictures and videos with my phone in a 2 week period.

ABS & ASS: BACK ON TRACK

For about 2.5 weeks I've been super demotivated. My body has not come back fast enough and I was going to punish the gym by not using it.
So, I just wasted my money and my indulgences, because I didn't even attempt to burn to calories off! Well, I saw some results today in my most unflattering pants. That motivated me all over again! Also in the time I had not gone to the gym I lost 1lb, and that makes me even happier.

 

So I need to really get on track with my stomach. My abdominal muscles (or lack thereof) is straining my lower back, and that doesn't feel good at all. Tomorrow I am starting an ab & squat challenge, and I am going to repeat each set 3x through out the day. A bit after breakfast, a bit after lunch, and while at the gym with weights (for squats). The more, the heavier, the better!

Found it over at 30dayfitnesschallenges.com!

 

 

Also, I will be posting some freebies here in short time! I'm so so excited about it!

 

(Slow Cooker finale is coming up, soon. I'll explain why this time it took so long when it's posted. Well, Ill just tell you now. It's your fault for not giving me delicious recipes. I hope you're proud of yourself!)

 

 

 

DOMESTICATING MYSELF WITH FRUGAL LIVING

Before Friday night, when I took my family and in-laws out to eat because I did not feel like cooking- we had not been out to eat in quite a while. I've been really trying to cook more, buy more produce, and keep up with my kitchen duties. I cannot-and will not-lie to you... Cooking just isn't fun for me! It's very stressful! The dog under my feet, tripping over the car, kicking toys and magnets, little hands pulling food off the counter- onions burning my eyes, the heat, splatter, waiting, tasting.... It's too much!

Now baking: I LOVE to bake-when there isn't a 2 year old running around who thinks the oven-glass door is a mirror for her to sit in front of and watch herself make awesome faces. So baking doesn't actually happen too often, but when it does I enjoy it!

 

Yes, I attempted to do a slow-cooker-week a while back but life got in the way. This week I am serious about it! I made some meatballs last week that we're so delicious, they were immediately requested for this week and claimed as a new favorite dish. That's motivation!

 

I'll figure out dinner first thing in the morning after I take note of the pantry and freezer inventory for my shopping list. After that I will meal plan the rest of the week. Through out the week I'll post my meal plan, ingredients, prep, cook time, and results of the meals.

 

No pizza or perogie dinners (favorite go-to's when we come home late/are tired) this week, ONLY meals that have been slow cooking.

 

 

Send me your favorite recipes to try out! Post them below if you'd like them to be public of private email me!

WEIGHT LOSS: FACIAL PROGRESS

 Before: 9/2011  During: 6 & 7/2013

I didn't realize how heavy I had gotten. This wasn't due to pregnancy. This was 2 months of a crumb-cake and Pepsi diet. Trying to keep myself awake with a new born, eating something that would fill me up quickly. How incredibly fast the weight came on, and how incredibly slow it is leaving! But, IT IS LEAVING. The first progress pictures I am sharing, and I hope I'll have more soon. As nerve wracking as this is, it's also liberating and motivational to me.

I owe thanks to my family and friends who are endlessly supportive (and patient with my constant blabbering's of weight loss)!

My current short-term goal is to lose 8lbs by 8/28. 15 Days. :)

MOTIVATION.

LEG PRESS: (unknown weight. 6th bar.) 5x8

CALF RAISES: (same machine, same weight) 5x8
CHEST PRESS: (unknown weight. 4th bar.) 2x6  (3rd bar): 1x6 1 1x8
LEG EXTENSIONS: 78lbs 2x6  66lbs 2x8
MID ROW: 115lbs 4x6  135lbs 1x6
SEATED DIP: 99lbs 1x6  86lbs 1x6  72lbs 2x8
BICEPS CURL: 70lbs 2x6  62lbs 2x8
SHOULDER PRESS: 76lbs 1x4  69lbs 1x6  62lbs 1x8 55lbs 1x8
LAP PULL DOWNS: 117lbs 1x6  102lbs 1x6  85lbs 2x8
LEG CURLS: 115lbs 2x6  97lbs 2x8
OUTER THIGHS: 140lbs 2x8  120lbs  2x8
INNER THIGHS: 120lbs 1x8 90lbs 2x8 100 1x6
CRUNCHES: C 2x8  R 2x10  L 2x10  C 1x10

SQUATS: 45lb bar 2x25lb weights = 95lbs 3x8

TREADMILL: 31.5min 2-3.5 walking & power walking, 1:30 5.5 jog.

BIKE OF DEATH: 26.24 minutes (I aimed for 250 calories/6 laps.)

 

 

 

There came a point in my life very recently that I whole-heatedly decided that enough was enough. The Queen is almost 2, and I am still the same weight I was when I gave birth to her. That is unacceptable. Women pacify it by dealing out comforting thoughts such as "It usually takes about 2 years to get the weight off!" and "Well you have no time- it'll come off on its own!" Thank you, but that's not the case.

The case is was that I wasn't trying to get the weight off. It's that simple! I'd get into these super-overdrive-motivation modes for 3 days, just to give up as quickly. The work outs were too hard, I couldn't keep up, my joints, my lungs, no time, no energy, school is in the way, it's the holiday-- how many things can get in the way of me?!

 

The answer then: a lot!

The answer now: myself.

 

I've stopped trying to find the time to go to the gym, and now I make the time to go. I feel so good each day I go- it's motivation that carries me through the day.

 

I have friends that have been in the same boat that I was/am in. The only thing that I can do is encourage them. It is SO, INCREDIBLY HARD to get out of the rut you can get stuck in. Not only for mothers, either. Women in relationships that put the comfort pounds on, college freshman 15, birth control weight gain, health issues- whatever the cause and case may be. It is hard to find the motivation and to hold onto it. I know- I did it for 2 years now!

 

I started this blog as a way to keep up anonymously with my progress, but lately I've realized that not everyone is as verbal about their insecurities as I am- but they are still struggling with the same thing I am. So, here I am. Accountable for my actions and inaction. Putting myself out there like my friend did for me. I am on a mission to get my old body back, and then improve it. I am on a mission to show my daughter that I can keep up. I am on a mission to improve my health so I can be her superhero. I am on a mission to chase my dog around the block every time he runs away, and not feel like I am about to implode. I am on a mission to skinny jeans and pretty tops, wearing tank tops and lifting my arms, stepping out of the plus size section and getting back into my favorite stores. I am on a mission to feel confidence, to walk with my head high again- because I've been teaching my daughter to look down at the floor. No more.

NO. MORE.

I'm on a mission to becoming A MILF. Yeah. I am on a life changing mission that started with a realization, baby stepped into quitting soda, tumbled into joining the gym, and is snow balling into working myself 110%, sweating without caring, and eating with purpose.

I am on a mission to be proud of myself-inside and out-because I am working for it.

<3

Peace, Love, Sweat, & Happiness.

 

 

 

A Clueless moment from me to my friends:
My machine just started inclining without letting me know and I yelled out "what the F%#$ is happening?!" in a panic. It was like an earthquake. I shouldn't be allowed here.



 

WEELKY CHALLENGE: WEEK ONE

I'm going to start a challenge segment. These challenges will all be under the same theme: becoming frugal and partially-homemade. We really want a house. Like, badly. The trouble is- we are both clueless about budgeting and saving! I don't know how to cook, he doesn't know how to eat (pizza, perogies, chicken parm. The End.) and we don't know how to stop going out to the store and buying useless crap we do not need! We are both guilty of doing this, and by taking these baby-steps challenges seriously- I hope to implement a new lifestyle for us as a family.

Step One: No Rules.He doesn't like when I put new rules into effect. Which is why, no new rules have ever gone into effect that were directed at us adults. :\ So by labeling them as challenges- he will secretly be supportive instead of combative! Ha!

Step Two: Discipline.

Well, I don't have any of that. By sticking with the challenges, I hope to build patterns and habits, leading me to spend less, save money and time, and learn A TON of new information that otherwise, I'd be blind to.

Step Three: Committing.Committing to the project. A full seven days-no excuses are good enough! No skips-ies, time outs, pauses, or quitting. Each challenge must be met-completely. This is building discipline, by committing no matter what.

Challenge One: Completely Crock Pot

This week, starting Sunday, I will use my crock pot every day.

Usually on the typical weekday morning, I let The Queen wake me up around 8-8:30. I'll give her some milk, we do the whole diaper banter thing, put one of her assorted educational entertaining DVDs on, and I get to making us breakfast. Within this time I could VERY easily get a meal into the crock pot and turn that bad boy on. Why don't I? Because I have nothing prepped or planned. This week, its ON!

Mini-challenge. Learn to use my rice cooker! ;)

Have any simple-mouthed recipes to share? Any challenge ideas that incorporate becoming home-made or frugality?! Let me know- I might just accept that challenge! 

Rest Day!

Today is my intentional rest day from INSANITY. I say intentional, because it took me 10 days to complete the first week-not including that fit test! Between being too sore to function & too busy with school, I had to start with the most important of my tasks & put off the least important for another day. I even debated on skipping rest day, but my butt cheeks decided for me when they were sore getting out of bed this morning!

This is the farthest I have gone with INSANITY in my 3 attempts at it. This is huge for me! Even though it took me 4 extra days, I still kept going. The effort was not lost- either. I already see results in what my body can do physically. At the beginning I couldn't (&wouldn't) jump. Without jumping, this takes out a large portion of the workouts- but I modified them if possible OR did squats in their place.

Things I physically could not do on Day 1, that I could do on day 6(10)

Basketball Jumps
Suicide Drills (bent knee push-ups. Lets not get carried away!)

Heisman
Mountain Climbers (my wrists couldn't support the angle while I brought my knee in)
Knee In's (Plank, jump in, jump out. I refer to them as fat-pincher's.)

I've also noticed that I can do more of the exercise than before. Where I would crap out at lets say 10 Heisman's (Heismen?) on day 2, I'd crap out at about 15/20 on day 6(10). I know my body pretty well from years of dancing, and I am sure I will be able to keep up with about 85% of the work out someday. I'm really impressed with my progress in the last 5 workouts. Its motivating- & I am really starting to wish I never gave up the first time I tried.

I don't expect miracles to happen within the next few weeks, but I do expect improvement. I demand improvement. The more results I see, the more motivated I feel to keep pressing on. I am VERY excited to build my body, endurance, stamina, & confidence back up! <3

I think May 13th will be 8 weeks. That sounds good for a progress photo, I'd say.

Dun dun dunnnn!!

Weight Loss: A journey back to my real body.

The Queen will be 2 in two months time, & I am still at the same weight I was before my water broke. I know, right? How humiliating! But, this time I am sticking to losing the unwanted pounds & I am going to post about the journey here, on my blog! I've taken my before photos and my measurements. I am not going to post them until I have an update to compare them to. Also, it's really taking a lot of nerve to come out publically with my figures!

I like lists. I like organization. I like deadlines. I have no self control or discipline. Now that you know this about me, you'll understand why I am creating patch projects of charts and inspiration boards! I've printed out the INSANITY 60 day (which is actually 63 days-9 of which are rest days) calendar and wrote out the dates of my workout, and a countdown to The Queen's shindig. There are some motivational quotes to read when I am feeling like death, to brighten my mood. Below that, is the 30 Day Squat Challenge that is circulating. I've added dates on the squat challenge as well. By the time her birthday comes, I should look better in my bathing suit and feel a bit more comfortable.
On the back is the image of what 1lb in fat looks like, & ridiculous pictures of me at my ideal body image. With dancing, working out, giving up pepsi (yikes!) I should see results.

I want to record and post videos, too. I know from experience how difficult it is to stay motivated when you're so defeated, find time between taking care of your family, school, and work.

EDIT: I posted this to my other blog 9 days ago, but I am re-posting it here. This is my journey, therefore it belongs in my blog-not my daughters.